We offer expectant parents an abundance of preparation: prenatal classes, Lamaze, “prepared childbirth,” baby groups, and parenting workshops.
We recognize that birth is a major life transition — one that deserves guidance, instruction, community, and support.
But when it comes to dying — another universal and inevitable life transition — what preparation do we offer?
Do We Prepare Anyone for Dying?
Most people receive no structured preparation for their own death or for supporting loved ones through it.
There are grief support groups, often organized by community or faith organizations, but these typically begin after a death has occurred.
But what about the time before death — the anticipatory grief, the practical decisions, the emotional work, the family dynamics, the unspoken conversations?
Who teaches people how to navigate that?
What Exists Now?
Hospice services in many regions provide excellent bedside care and family support, though availability varies widely. Here in Victoria BC, Island Health offers home and in-patient hospice support through Hospice Victoria and there are many private companies who offer end-of-life care.
There is an exhibit at Craigdarroch castle November 29, called “Death at the Castle” about Victorian- era perspectives on death.
Death doulas have emerged as a parallel to birth doulas: offering non-medical support, guidance, presence, and companionship. Like birth doulas, they help normalize a profound life event, reduce fear, and ease communication. Unlike birth doulas, they work within a culture that remains deeply uncomfortable talking about dying.
Death cafés bring people together for open, unstructured conversations about mortality Talking about death in.a setting where community members gather to talk openly about death. Bringing conversations about mortality into communal spaces feels like a step in the right direction.— often meaningful, but not instructional
Other cultures integrate dying into daily life much more openly — through rituals, community involvement, multigenerational caregiving, and the visible presence of elders nearing the end of life. What might we learn from them? How could we do better?
Should We Teach About Death in Schools?
If death is universal, why is it so taboo?
Children are naturally curious. They cope better when given honest, age-appropriate information.
Perhaps there is something to be said for introducing simple teachings about mortality into primary school curricula.
A topic for another day — but one worth returning to.
My Idea: Classes for an Easier Death
Are we offering the public meaningful education about what dying can look like, and how suffering can be eased?People want guidance during major transitions. We simply don’t offer it when it comes to death.
In a future post, I want to describe my concept more fully: “Six Practical Lessons for an Easier Death.”
It’s admittedly not an easy sell. “I’m going to my death class” doesn’t trip off the tongue like “I’m going to prenatal class.”
But for someone who has received a serious diagnosis or who is living with advancing chronic illness, structured preparation — emotional, practical, and relational — could make an enormous difference.